First, your child needs to know that you’re on her side, that you accept her for what she is, win or lose. Your comments should reflect on what she’s done, not on what she “is.”
Second, don’t be kind by being dishonest. Your child knows when she hasn’t done well, when she has “failed.” When you acknowledge that you know this, too, but that it isn’t the end of the world, your child has confidence in you to reflect an honest value to her.
Finally, let your child know every day and in many ways that you love her. A child needs a lot of hugging, even at times when her behavior is definitely “unhuggable.”
As children try to find their place in the world, they look to their parents for guidance and support. Make sure you give your child the room she needs to learn and make mistakes, but also make sure she knows you’re on her side—win or lose.
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