When Kids Fail

Most parents can handle success—but how can parents help their children handle failure?

First, your child needs to know that you’re on her side, that you accept her for what she is, win or lose. Your comments should reflect on what she’s done, not on what she “is.”

Second, don’t be kind by being dishonest. Your child knows when she hasn’t done well, when she has “failed.” When you acknowledge that you know this, too, but that it isn’t the end of the world, your child has confidence in you to reflect an honest value to her.

Finally, let your child know every day and in many ways that you love her. A child needs a lot of hugging, even at times when her behavior is definitely “unhuggable.”

As children try to find their place in the world, they look to their parents for guidance and support. Make sure you give your child the room she needs to learn and make mistakes, but also make sure she knows you’re on her side—win or lose.

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Getting Along With Others

Children are more successful in their relationships when they feel comfortable than when they are self-conscious.
You can help by being supportive and encouraging rather than critical or discouraging.


 
Here are some do’s and don’ts:
DO stand up for him, especially with adults. Everyone needs someone they can depend on, no matter what.
DON’T suggest he has trouble getting along with others. (“Nobody really likes you.”)
DO give him positive feedback for getting along well with others. (“I really like it when I see you helping Jack put on his shoes.”)
DON’T force him into uncomfortable situations.
DO allow him to work out his own relationships with a minimum of interference.
DON’T compare him with other children.
DO respect his wishes about how and with whom he wants to spend time.

Star-Brite Learning Program